speed racer

yesterday was my quarterly trip to grand rapids. to visit the hair god. on the way i came up on this gem. in three rivers. i don't care how many racing stripes you put on your grand marquis. off-centered or not. it's not cool. even if you were a taxi. but you're not. so you don't even have that going for you. on the way back from the hair god i noted another gem. i did not take a photo. because even i think these particular ornaments are offensive. and just plain gross. usually found hanging and swaying freely from the hitch of a jeep, or jacked up truck. the driver no doubt has a mullet. and a gun rack. and a confederate flag license plate. and a piss on [fill in the blank] decal in the back window. it's none other than the plastic set of testicles. bulls balls, i believe, is their official name. and as i understand they are now offered in a lighted version. they light up when you hit the brakes. now, first of all, no one even wants to see a set of balls on a dog. let alone a vehicle. and how does one go about purchasing a set of balls for one's car. i mean, how do you even ask where those would be located in a store. with a straight face. i don't even think they would sell those at wal-marts.