all aboard

saturday night we took the kids to the amtrak train station lighting. in niles. when i first learned my husband got a new job in niles i told everyone where we were moving. a handful knew where it was. the others i just told them it was between the 'e' and 't' in ghetto. the train station is a great building. and the parking lot is safe. however, we did not get a parking spot in the parking lot. nope. we had to park where the sidewalk ends. literally. between the 'e' and 't'. so, awhile back i was searching on craigslist and there was an ad for a santa. he will come to your house. now, the picture in the ad was fabulous. and i thought, yeah right. he probably shows up at your house with no pants on. so, we get to the lighting ceremony and much to our surprise there was santa. the santa from craigslist. he was a great santa. and he had pants on. he spent a lot of time with our kids. he had some great stories. and we are thinking of having him come to our house next year. my parents did that for my sister and i. once. my dad set this whole thing up for one of his buddies to come visit in a santa suit. after all of that planning, santa walked in the door and we greeted him with 'hi, shrock.' epic fail. anyway, we had a really great night. until dinner. now, i love a good diner. and we love to go to family owned restaurants. but this particular establishment could well top the truck stop in logansport. almost. it's called home plate. in niles. actually it's in the taint. the stretch of road between niles and south bend. that we don't know really what it is. anyway, we walk in and let's just say the cream of the crop are all present and accounted for. i think campbell's should name their next soup after them. the second i walk in i just felt like i needed a shower. i thought the food must be out of this world. not so much. when we finally got to order. and it finally got to our table. half way through our meal one of the servers dropped an entire platter of prepared food on his way to a table. what happened next will go down in the record books. one guy starts to clap. and then another. and another. and yet another. the only people that weren't clapping were us, of course. and the table behind us who were also of sound mind. my husband's back was toward most of the oddities. i just sat there in disbelief. there was the lady that was picking her teeth. with her straw. and then drank out of it. there was circus freaks table. complete with son or daughter with a mullet. along with meth mom. and creepy aids grampa. who had a strong resemblance to paul benedict. from the jeffersons. with aids. and mad max uncle rounding out the table. that had enough barbs and wires in his head to pass for a fence. and then there was the hightop table. just one. there was a couple sitting in it. and the half wall came to just right below this person's nose that was facing me. i glanced over several times during the meal. admiring her hair. it was silver. with waves. and after the prostitute was seated next to us with a purple velour jumpsuit the couple from the high table got up to pay their bill. much to my surprise it wasn't a woman at all. it was a dude. perhaps they should change the name to foul ball. or swing and a miss.