have it your way

i mentioned before about my dad and my uncle having, or not having, a great selection in breakfast establishments. here's the rest of the story. my dad's a three egg kind of guy. a go in and sit down breakfast guy. because of this i am not. i pick it up in my car and eat it. either in my car or back at home. and i know what i am getting. every time. my dad on the other hand likes to gamble. take for example our trip to myrtle beach when i was in high school. we were traveling with about five other families. all in separate cars. we split the trip up some place. all i remember is that we stayed over night in a worst western. the next morning while all of the other families drove through mcdonald's and well on their way to sunshine we had to go to bob evan's. and it wasn't that the food was bad. it was the fact that we were delayed. about two hours. i can't remember what took so long. but it wasn't exactly worth the wait. i should have known better. a few years before this incident there was another. and we still talk about it to this day. my dad used to travel a lot either to instruct umpire schools for softball or as umpire-in-chief at softball tournaments all over the country. when he had an engagement close to home we drove and made it into a family vacation. well, this time it landed us in logansport, indiana. good god. i don't remember much of the trip except it smelled like manure. all day. every day. and the fly lady. the fly lady resided at, you guessed it, a breakfast establishment. it wasn't your typical breakfast establishment. it was a truck stop. the sheriff was even there that morning. as we entered i was quick to point out the wallpaper was taped to the wall. taped. as we made our way through the smoke we sat down at a booth. there was an older couple sitting in the booth behind us and a rather large lady sitting at a table in the middle of the restaurant. i use the word restaurant very loosely. i can't remember anything but these two things. about half way through our meal the gentleman in the booth behind us let out a huge belch. not unlike that of my late aunt helen's belches. now the fly lady was in clear view. of all of us. so i have witnesses. i can't remember why the lady was dubbed the fly lady. i am sure my mom can probably set me straight. i have tried to block the entire incident from my memory. short of therapy. i do know that she was picking up creamer packets. and putting them down her shirt. we all made it out alive. and we now know why the sheriff's car was there. he wasn't there to eat. i can assure you that fact.