hair do(n't)

i didn't think i would have to bring this up so soon but now is the time. we have to fly to arizona tomorrow. and i hate flying. so much so that before i left for vegas a couple of weeks ago i left strict instructions with my husband. if i shall perish i want to be cremated. and then i laughed. out loud. because if i die in a plane crash i will already be cremated. and then i want a party. not right after. let a few months pass when things settle down. because let's face it. no one likes a funeral. and don't get me started on that music. i would like all eighties, please. and my ashes need to be spread from the top of kapiti island. in new zealand. north island. so, whoever wants to go i will pay for two tickets. you will have to stay at the te nikau forest retreat. because it's heaven on earth. and the entire reason behind the cremation is my hair. yes, my hair. you see no one on the face of this earth can do my hair the right way. except me. after a shower it has to be wrapped in a towel for just the right amount of time. if you unwrap it too soon it's weighted down. if you unwrap it too late it's frizzy. and then there is the mousse. handfuls of mousse. evenly distributed. bottom. top. sides. middle. handfuls. and then there are the hours of air drying. and hand scrunching. i may not wear make up and i am certainly no fashion plate. but i can't have a good day with bad hair.