ex-squeeze-me

this is one of the last times i went to wal-marts. i picked this parking spot because there wasn't anyone parked around for a few spaces. all around this particular spot. when i got back to my car from shopping i find this parked next to me. now, keep in mind all around me are empty spaces. even after i had gone into the store. until this jackwagon pulls in next to me. his truck may be centered in between the lines. but his extra extended side mirror is invading my personal space. next time i'll just park between two cars. thanks.

knock, knock

will has been into knock knock jokes lately. his favorite is the one where you ask 'knock, knock' and say orange twice. and on the third go you say banana. and the punchline is orange you glad i didn't say banana? so, a few days after he had mastered that joke we were playing downstairs. we were in their climber that has a door on it to enter on one of the ends. making a perfect opportunity for a 'knock, knock' joke. as will knocked on the door:


will: knock, knock.

me: who's there?

will: will.

me: will who?

will: will aren't you glad i didn't say sophie?

once was lost

some of you know that we have been in the middle of finishing our basement. for about a year and a half. well, a few weeks ago the carpet was installed. and i can safely say the basement is done. for the most part. except for a few minor details. like fixing the foot long snag in the carpet created by one of our couches that we were moving around not even a week after the carpet was in. so, for about a year and a half most of our things, or as my husband calls it junk, has been shoved, stacked and smooshed into the two hundred square feet that was left as storage. like the 8-in-1 climber that i scored off of craigslist for the kids for a screaming deal. last october. anyway, my husband gets invited to a fishing weekend by one of his vendors at work occassionally. last fall was no different. no big deal. but it was. when the fishing is in canada. and you need your passport. and the passport is in the safe. which is behind five stacked trunks, some barbed wire art, a barn door, bed springs, a broken down heavier than hell plywood table that my mom's friend saved from the junk one day at the mall from victoria's secret and a stage coach box. and he tells me this the night before he is supposed to leave. last weekend was no different. after snagging the carpet i gave up on unloading the storage area. i was still beside myself that it even happened. and i didn't want to even go down there. but i had to. because my husband was invited by his brother to go on a charter fishing trip on lake michigan. he didn't need his passport. but he did need a cooler. so, behind five stacked trunks, some barbed wire art, a barn door, bed springs, a broken down heavier than hell plywood table that my mom's friend saved from the junk one day at the mall from victoria's secret and a stage coach box i find the coolers. this after he has already gone down there. and said they weren't there. and yes. it was the morning that he was to leave that he informed me he needed the coolers. he packed one cooler for his food. and the other was empty for the fish he was going to catch. now we have two blue coolers. because the empty one was left in the middle of our living room floor. and he had to buy one while he was in manistee. for the fish he caught. but i know right where to put the extra cooler. behind five stacked trunks, some barbed wire art, a barn door, bed springs, a broken down heavier than hell plywood table that my mom's friend saved from the junk one day at the mall from victoria's secret and a stage coach box.

just a thought

so my parents were at my house for the last five days. landscaping. i have to say it looks mighty fine. my dad had actually been here for a month. placing rocks. he got a gift certificate to ruth's chris steak house. even though i insist eddie's steak shed is better. even though i have never been to ruth's chris. i just would enjoy an evening in flip flops. over a huge bill. and still have an out of this world piece of beef. but my parents have always wanted to go. so now they can. since they are finally close to one. and it's on me. anyway, i treated my mom to a pedicure for all of her hard work. it was the least i could do. and while i was sitting there next to her with our feet in soaking i was thinking to myself: are there any nail places in asia?

round trip

the carpenter is in town. again. this time moving six tons of landscaping rocks. scratch that. seven tons of landscaping rocks. and thirteen yards of black dirt. after one of the full days of placing the rocks we sat down to dinner. a dinner we had gotten from pizza hut. the order was wrong. but didn't discover it until we got it home. to make a long story short we ordered two orders of pasta which should have came with two orders of breadsticks. we only got one order of breadsticks. it's ok. they weren't very good. anyway, we didn't feel it was worth twenty dollars which prompted this conversation. from my dad. he was saying that when he and my mom order the pasta it was x amount. and here it was not x it was x amount. and when he gets on an icecream kick it's the same way. he gets an icecream cone from the mcdonald's on eastman. when he is just about done with that cone he is almost at the south saginaw road mcdonald's. and gets a cone from the south saginaw road mcdonald's. and when he is just about done with that cone he arrives at the waldo road mcdonald's. where he gets his third and final cone. and when he is just about done with that cone he is right back home. where he started. and every single cone is a different price. yes. you read it correctly. he starts out at home and hits every mcdonald's in town. and his point wasn't that. it was to point out the same cone was a different price at each location. my point is that this proves he has too much time on his hands. and icecream.