the doctor is in

i haven't posted in a. long. time. partly, because this site made it nearly impossible for my simple mind to figure out how to even post an entry. with their new format. plus, it's just easier to post the stuff on facebook. anyway, i cannot not post this. because it happened over eight hours ago. and i'm still laughing. my. ass. off. for the past week, or so, thing one has been itching the area. i keep asking him if he has to go to the bathroom. he doesn't. it just itches. so, after a few days i decided to ask if i could look at it. instead of dad. he was ok with it. upon examination, i discovered the area was just dry. like really dry. all over. i finally was able to convince him into putting some vaseline on it. after i was done he exclaimed it felt much better. half an hour later he told me the same thing. i explained to him that he has got to let me fix it sooner.

thing one [matter of factly. complete with head nods. and hand gestures]: weeell, vaginas get dry too, ya know. i mean, i don't know much about them. but iiiiii'm pretty sure they do.

i'm pretty sure he'll need a bigger piggy bank. for medical school.